I was not, as a kid, a shaped-noodle aficionado. I did love box mac-n-cheese, though, and I was not persuaded by alternatives such as macaroni noodles with actual cheese or, even worse, Velveeta mac. Having been raised by people who believed Velveeta a food product as opposed to reconstituted crayon shavings, my parents once decided they wanted to relive their childhoods and make Velveeta Mac. The experiment was not repeated.

I was (and am), however, a sucker for ridiculous branded items. Which is why I bought a box of this:



I have no idea how much this cost originally, but I acquired it for the princely sum of $1.00. It does not, I can now assure you, contain any trace of "Real Cheddar Cheese." No dairy product dared intrude on the included bag of powdered mix until I introduced milk.

The noodles came in the five recognizable helmet shapes:



Noodles, boiled:



With the addition of milk, margarine, and orange paint chips:



Flavor report: Less edible than Top Ramen. Managed to be simultaneously regrettable and forgettable. I did add a can of roasted garlic and onion tomatoes, which tends to liven boxed mac up a bit. If anything, the addition of non-chemical foods made this worse.

(RE: Last post, thank you everyone who responded. I didn't get back to them mostly because I didn't feel up to revisiting it, but. Thank you still.)
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A Vagina You Can't Take Home to Mother

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