An Exchange Today

Princess Prissy Fuzzy Wuzzybutt Lumpins (a.k.a Cat): Observe me as I recline on this delightfully comfortable tan rug of luxury. Bask in my enjoyment.
Me: Yes, I know you like sleeping on my pants, but I need to wear them, feline. Off.
PPFWBL: Behold as I mark them with my follicle excretions.
Me: That's fabulous. Off.
PPFWBL: What rough manners, sir!
Me: *begins scratching feline butt* Pants. Off.
PPFWBLL: *flops to other side of body* How dare you attempt to dislodge me from my royal reclining station by touching the royal petard!
Me: *bodily lifts Cat using pants* Off.
PPFWBL: *huffs, promptly flops onto other pants I have just discarded* Fine, I will settle for this lesser rug, in my royal graciousness ignoring the hole so clearly visible in the behind.
Me: Why thank you.