One of the things you should know is that I have already made myself a "Bang Your Head On The Bedpost" and I'm pretty sure it's just going to go downhill from there. I have just finished Massive Paper #1 of finals week, and I have enough time left that I can celebrate by getting kind of tanked.

Also, my threshold for handling 30 minutes of the TLA movie looks to be about 4 months.

(As per the icon, please note that orgies are frowned upon.)

The Adventure Continues! Kind of. )

Part I.
arionhunter: (疲子英雄 - Stare)
( Aug. 23rd, 2010 07:22 pm)
Thoughts as they occur to me )

And it's at about this point where [personal profile] brownbetty and I started talking about why exactly the action in TLA fails, so chatlog break!

Includes basic visual theory, references sitcoms, comics, and why the Bayformers movies suck as action movies. )

And then I started the movie again, because I was committed to finishing this fucker.

Aaaauuugh. )

And now, because it is almost midnight here, I head to bed. I shall continue Wednesday night, where I hope to at least make it an hour in before taking a paring knife to the nearest fleshy object.
A:TLA reviews are rolling in and it's bad. Bad, bad, bad. The range spans from middling to fucking brutal.

Bonus: Why I love Roger Ebert, the movie reviewer.
arionhunter: (Yosuke Ito - Read)
( May. 17th, 2010 06:05 pm)
Apollo's Song and Buddha, Osamu Tezuka )

And now, a nugget of fanfiction malapropism goodness: "John Shepard was the only man she had let past the berries of her heart."
Having been viciously pissy for the past three days, it perked me up to see that Ravenous Romance had released a new special Day-Before- Half-Off-Candy-Day story, Love Birds. The last couple of RR short stories have been duds, but this was a story by Isabel Roman, she of the shaven pubic hair and genital insults. Surely there would be something to mine.

We start out promising. All of the female characters are stolen from bad Sex and the City fanfic, only their names are bird-themed (Lark, Cardinal, and so forth.) It's not horrifying, but just bland.

And then we hit Gettysburg and possibly the most awkward, horrifying line I've yet read in porn. )
So, in the process of Te's post on why no amount of shiny whiz-bang CGI can hide that big nasty white appropriation/racism shitstain on the screen (CODA: I am now totally using Moff's Law in the future as a response to "“Why can’t you just watch the movie for what it is?"), there was a nice little discussion on the racism/religious privilege of romance novels, including this awesome comment from [ profile] buggery.

Out of curiosity, I also checked out the descriptions for Ravenous Romance's other '12 Days of Christmas' short stories )

Poll #1966 A Question You Will Likely Never Be Asked Again
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 5

Is $0.99 worth the possibility of fowl fucking?

View Answers

Of course! This expense will prove highly valuable to your future career!
1 (20.0%)

I wouldn't, but it's not my brain you're irreparably scarring.
4 (80.0%)

What the fuck is your goddamn problem?
0 (0.0%)

Over the phone yesterday I told [personal profile] katarik that I rarely had enough time nowadays to read bad porn, which is very sad. However, I make time for what I can -- and when Ravenous Romance puts out a new free short story, the reaction may be Pavlovian.


"The Cactus League Society" (an m/m romance) is no match for "Handsome and Petal," certainly, but it does draw the obvious parallel. Which, really, is all I can ask for.

Westward Ho! )

BONUS: Oh, yes, Ravenous Romance, I think I am indeed seeing what you did there with the strategically placed V.
A moment of fandom crossover horror, brought to you by Hulu.

What Edward Cullen really shouted when Bella saw him sparkle for the first time: "Believe it!"
[personal profile] arionhunter: Possibly the best response to my existence ever devised:
[personal profile] petra: wtF.
That's special. How sweet of Betty to see it and think of you.
[personal profile] arionhunter: I know! I feel touched that my existence has become inexorably linked with odd and extreme phallic imagery in her mind.
[personal profile] petra: Everyone should remind their friends of something.
[personal profile] arionhunter: How touching that I am phalluses and bad sex.

In other news I am exhausted and have a great number of things I should be doing for school, not least among them studying for the GRE on Tuesday, but instead of all that I am going to go curl up in my bed with Bill O'Reilly's novel. Given I was laughing as soon as I flipped to a random page and started reading, I suspect it will be a very enjoyable experience. Also, the Amazon tags are glorious.
Finally, a post which (sort of) alls for the laser cock.

Recently, there was wank involving Ravenous Romance. Being an, ahem, big fan, I decided to risk e-mail spam to get a copy of their current free short story, Handsome and Petal.

We begin with a fundamental question posed by the protagonist: "Could a simple male experience such superhuman sex without losing his marbles?"

(Warning: There is a Jesus joke in here. An "I Am Going To Hell" Jesus joke.)

I don't know! Let's find out! )
I feel the universe should know that I have Opinions on Bibleman, and this scares me. Given that I *avoided* my Statement of Purpose just so I could watch Bibleman, this is doubly worrying.

Background to explain this chat: Due to inadvertent if hilarious mental scarring that is All My Fault, I agreed from the kindness of my heart (and because I am a sap) to bake [personal profile] katarik a cake. However, with me a gift is not just a gift. It is a joke waiting to happen.

So this thread may have been...inspiring. She can just be thankful at the time I didn't think to look for Kiss Play fanart.

i am actually more concerned that you would buy me toys and arrange them in obscene positions. )

Story of my life right here. on Twitpic
Okay, so I'm reading a romance novel. A bad, free romance novel. A bad, free romance novel entitled Lesbian Love How To Forget Your Life.

I think you can see where this is going.

Liveblogging under cut. )
[personal profile] arionhunter: Oh god, I think I've found the equivalent of Femslash MPreg
"When two females are in middle of sexual intercourse, if two eggs collide and complete each other, they become a healthy Fetus"
The eggs collide, like atoms in a Hadron collider!
If only we knew high-level astrophysics was really all about a way of making babies without sperm!
[personal profile] arionhunter: Did I horrify you into silence?
[personal profile] eisen: n, I was just responding to a comment on my DW about toradora.
[personal profile] arionhunter: Aww, I wanted to horrify you into silence!
[personal profile] arionhunter: *is still in love with the mental image of a fetus Hadron collider*
[personal profile] eisen: ... it's, uh. An image, yeah.
[personal profile] arionhunter: Don't you love knowing me?
[personal profile] katarik: ...
[personal profile] arionhunter: Those crazy kids and their colliding eggs
[personal profile] katarik: you are so weird.
[personal profile] arionhunter: Aww, but you love it
On occasion, knowing me is a useful skill when it nets you things you want, like good!fic or good beer (Abita Harvest Lager with Strawberries is fucking fantastic).

Today's fannish target - The Pretender )
Ah, Free Comic Book Day. I scored rather mightily this round, as the shop was having 'Fill a Shortbox for $30' sale. Thus, I raided the old longboxes with a vengeance. I now own:

A rather sizable list. )

As you can tell, I got rather...cracky at the end. I also hit up the Library Discards store, which netted me a few books, among them Erotic Tales of the Victorian Age.

My favorite bit so far: 'Wally, in the name of social justice it is bounden upon you to fuck that poor girl immediately.' )


Word for the day: gamahuche. )


arionhunter: (Default)
A Vagina You Can't Take Home to Mother


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