I do feel this post should be, like me, filed under the "Smart but Special" tag.

[arionhunter]

So, in the process of Te's post on why no amount of shiny whiz-bang CGI can hide that big nasty white appropriation/racism shitstain on the screen (CODA: I am now totally using Moff's Law in the future as a response to "“Why can’t you just watch the movie for what it is?"), there was a nice little discussion on the racism/religious privilege of romance novels, including this awesome comment from buggery.

They range from boring ("Four Calling Birds" is four different wives having a private night with their respective husbands) to the bizarre ("Eleven Pipers Piping" involves a woman who has slept with 10 of the 11 Piper brothers, and just now happens to be on her last. Yes, "piping" may just stand for "PIV sexxors").

Possibly the most curious (that is "please do not let this be what I think it is") is "Eight Maids A Milking," filed under Lesbian but focusing on widow Annie and Indian chef Sanj, who is "a bit mysterious, a research scientist turned baker, who talks about the customs of India while he teaches his baking classes. He is also spiritual and sensual." So, besides the possible broad-brush racial stereotyping, there must be lesbianism. When one of the characters is identified as a man. I am...not sure what to think.

Nothing, however, can beat "Six Geese A Laying."

arionhunter: Man, you know you've got it bad when you want to buy a Ravenous Romance short story just to find out if it really is goose bestiality.
brownbetty: aaaaaaaudsfahsffkj
arionhunter: THE DESCRIPTION IS MADDENINGLY VAGUE
"After several months overseas, Stacia is ecstatic to return home for Christmas. It’s been too long since she’s seen her boyfriend, Luke and she longs to be in his arms again. She even has a seductive and sexy “present” planned for their first night together.

With arrangements to celebrate the holidays with Luke’s family, Stacia soon discovers her plans are going to be quite difficult to carry out. Her first night back is spent getting to know his beloved pet geese. It seems as though their night of passion will have to wait — until, that is, she discovers Luke has plans of his own.

Stacia soon finds herself following the mysterious trail of presents Luke has left her: Christmas-wrapped goose eggs, each one with a clue that will lead her to the next. . . and, ultimately, to a night she’ll never forget!"
TELL ME THAT IS NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE
brownbetty: uh.
I don't know what that sounds like.
arionhunter: Neither do I, but there is a goose uncomfortably close to the hot sexxors part of this equation

Poll #1966 A Question You Will Likely Never Be Asked Again

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 5

View Respondents

Is $0.99 worth the possibility of fowl fucking?

View Answers

Of course! This expense will prove highly valuable to your future career!
1 (20.0%)

I wouldn't, but it's not my brain you're irreparably scarring.
4 (80.0%)

What the fuck is your goddamn problem?
0 (0.0%)

Comments

[lea_hazel]

I made it as far as "covetous" before I hollered. Literally. I hope my neighbor didn't hear that, I would hate for him to think I was injured or something. But really. It burns.

I do think the goose story seems too cracktastic to pass over. Also, I think I will be watching your journal now?

[arionhunter]

It's very...fucked up, and not in the quaint way (as illustrated by, say, Sloane Crosley).

Go for it! I am bad at remembering to comment, but it can almost always be assured that I have read something.

[lea_hazel]

Oh, no worries. I neglect comments like it's my job.