On occasion, knowing me is a useful skill when it nets you things you want, like good!fic or good beer (Abita Harvest Lager with Strawberries is fucking fantastic).
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arionhunter: A memo: If one is going to write naughty Santa sexfic, possibly one should not spell it "Mrs. Clause."
katarik: ... possibly not.
arionhunter: Also, wow you picked a fandom that likes it corny
katarik: ?
arionhunter: I am on a badfic trawl, and am thus going through the show-specific FF.net alternatives
katarik: yes, honey, but which fandom?
arionhunter: Pretender - which other fandom could I be referring to?
katarik: i thought that was the likely option, but i have several tv-fandoms.
why corny?
arionhunter: There is one where they time themselves so they orgasm in time *with the fireworks*
katarik: ...
arionhunter: Told you!
katarik: okay, never mind, i take it back, i don't want the porn.
arionhunter: No, no you really don't.
Like, some of this would be kind of horrifying to your mental image of Miss Parker, I can tell already. Mainly because it sounds like romance novel heroines
katarik: ... ew.
arionhunter: Single tears of love and everything
Now, aren't you glad I saved you finding this out yourself?
katarik: mind you, when she cries in canon, it generally is the single perfect crystalline tear falling down her face.
from, mind you, actual *trauma,* not love.
arionhunter: Well, this is also the Single Tear Orgasm
katarik: if she *cries,* it's going to freak him out. like, seriously, tears from her are something of a mood-breaker.
arionhunter: Ahahahahahahaha, oh, it's kind of cute how you expect consistent canonical characterization
katarik: :P
arionhunter: Oh god, I...you have to understand how hard I am restraining myself from sharing the absolutely horrid characterization I'm reading
katarik: and i appreciate your restraint *very much*.
arionhunter: It's so hard because oh god why is there not a clone of you with my badfic tolerance? Whhhhhy?
katarik: i am too awesome for your badfic.
arionhunter: No, you are too weak, because badfic by its nature is awesome.
arionhunter: I may have found you some good fic! Inadvertently!
katarik: ooh?
i imagine that was difficult and traumatic for you, darling.
arionhunter: Quite
http://www.kirbyfest.net/pretend.html
Is it good enough for your tastes?
katarik: it certainly looks promising.
*coos at the pretender/iron man crossover*
arionhunter: Um, how are you on decent hard BDSM femslash involving Miss Parker?
katarik:... who's the other character?
arionhunter: Brigitte
katarik: yeah, i heard that coming. who's topping?
arionhunter:Let me actually read it with some depth...
Parker
katarik: okay, drop it my way.
*wary, but hopeful*
arionhunter:http://www.geocities.com/dataannex/adult/rumours.html
It's kinda...stereotypical?
katarik: *pokes it with a stick*
8:49 AMarionhunter: I did not guarantee good, just not *bad*
Which is to say, no one's genitalia weep.
Also, a tip: if your fandom is circa early 2000s, google search it
katarik: my fandom still uses floppies.
arionhunter: More than likely, the vast bulk of fic was housed on geocities/angelfire.
Also, webrings
(Oh, Jesus, frames)
Have you sufficiently benefited from my search?
katarik: the mental image of miss parker turning tony stark down flat is making up for Single Tear of Orgasm.
arionhunter: Occasionally, I can use my powers for good!
katarik: a rare and unintended event.
arionhunter: Entirely unintended - again I am saddened at your fandom's inability to transcend romance novel mediocrity.
katarik: i'm just pissed at the romance novel.
arionhunter: Man, I was amused by your comment up until the "Especially since now I know who Scully *is*."
katarik: i have now seen two episodes!
arionhunter: And then it was just all downhill. Hilariously downhill
katarik: phbbbbbbbbbbt
arionhunter: Hey, I found you fanfic!
katarik: yes you did. and it is a joy.
arionhunter: I can even use my magical Google powers to try and find Betty's fabled fic, if you ask nicely.
katarik: ... how nicely is nicely?
arionhunter: Why, I'll have to think about that!
(Okay, really, it's just asking at all. I'll look for it either way because it's a challenge, and I like those.)
katarik: will you find me miss parker/scully, please, avery?
arionhunter: http://scullyslash.ditb.org/archive/0/nosmoke1.shtml
That took me...5 minutes, I think.
katarik: ten points to you!
arionhunter: You may now sing my praises.
katarik: all praise to thee, o lord of badfic, who sometimes finds me some good fic, who in your generosity, will find me porn to cheer me up.
arionhunter: I am appeased!
katarik: it's better with the right tune.
arionhunter: Oh?
katarik: tune for creator of the stars of night.
arionhunter: Does this mean I can get you to karaoke my praises as well?
katarik: *snickers*
arionhunter: Hey, I could be persuaded to use my powers for good more often if there were music involved!
katarik: i'm not doing a phone post.
arionhunter: ....awww
You can perform it in my presence, though! (if you feel so compelled)
katarik: *grins*
arionhunter: A memo: If one is going to write naughty Santa sexfic, possibly one should not spell it "Mrs. Clause."katarik: ... possibly not.arionhunter: Also, wow you picked a fandom that likes it cornykatarik: ?arionhunter: I am on a badfic trawl, and am thus going through the show-specific FF.net alternativeskatarik: yes, honey, but which fandom?arionhunter: Pretender - which other fandom could I be referring to?katarik: i thought that was the likely option, but i have several tv-fandoms.why corny?
arionhunter: There is one where they time themselves so they orgasm in time *with the fireworks*katarik: ...arionhunter: Told you!katarik: okay, never mind, i take it back, i don't want the porn.arionhunter: No, no you really don't.Like, some of this would be kind of horrifying to your mental image of Miss Parker, I can tell already. Mainly because it sounds like romance novel heroines
katarik: ... ew.arionhunter: Single tears of love and everythingNow, aren't you glad I saved you finding this out yourself?
katarik: mind you, when she cries in canon, it generally is the single perfect crystalline tear falling down her face.from, mind you, actual *trauma,* not love.
arionhunter: Well, this is also the Single Tear Orgasmkatarik: if she *cries,* it's going to freak him out. like, seriously, tears from her are something of a mood-breaker.arionhunter: Ahahahahahahaha, oh, it's kind of cute how you expect consistent canonical characterizationkatarik: :Parionhunter: Oh god, I...you have to understand how hard I am restraining myself from sharing the absolutely horrid characterization I'm readingkatarik: and i appreciate your restraint *very much*.arionhunter: It's so hard because oh god why is there not a clone of you with my badfic tolerance? Whhhhhy?katarik: i am too awesome for your badfic.arionhunter: No, you are too weak, because badfic by its nature is awesome.arionhunter: I may have found you some good fic! Inadvertently!katarik: ooh?i imagine that was difficult and traumatic for you, darling.
arionhunter: Quitehttp://www.kirbyfest.net/pretend.html
Is it good enough for your tastes?
katarik: it certainly looks promising.*coos at the pretender/iron man crossover*
arionhunter: Um, how are you on decent hard BDSM femslash involving Miss Parker?katarik:... who's the other character?arionhunter: Brigittekatarik: yeah, i heard that coming. who's topping?arionhunter:Let me actually read it with some depth...Parker
katarik: okay, drop it my way.*wary, but hopeful*
arionhunter:http://www.geocities.com/dataannex/adult/rumours.htmlIt's kinda...stereotypical?
katarik: *pokes it with a stick*8:49 AM
arionhunter: I did not guarantee good, just not *bad*Which is to say, no one's genitalia weep.
Also, a tip: if your fandom is circa early 2000s, google search it
katarik: my fandom still uses floppies.arionhunter: More than likely, the vast bulk of fic was housed on geocities/angelfire.Also, webrings
(Oh, Jesus, frames)
Have you sufficiently benefited from my search?
katarik: the mental image of miss parker turning tony stark down flat is making up for Single Tear of Orgasm.arionhunter: Occasionally, I can use my powers for good!katarik: a rare and unintended event.arionhunter: Entirely unintended - again I am saddened at your fandom's inability to transcend romance novel mediocrity.katarik: i'm just pissed at the romance novel.arionhunter: Man, I was amused by your comment up until the "Especially since now I know who Scully *is*."katarik: i have now seen two episodes!arionhunter: And then it was just all downhill. Hilariously downhillkatarik: phbbbbbbbbbbtarionhunter: Hey, I found you fanfic!katarik: yes you did. and it is a joy.arionhunter: I can even use my magical Google powers to try and find Betty's fabled fic, if you ask nicely.katarik: ... how nicely is nicely?arionhunter: Why, I'll have to think about that!(Okay, really, it's just asking at all. I'll look for it either way because it's a challenge, and I like those.)
katarik: will you find me miss parker/scully, please, avery?arionhunter: http://scullyslash.ditb.org/archive/0/nosmoke1.shtmlThat took me...5 minutes, I think.
katarik: ten points to you!arionhunter: You may now sing my praises.katarik: all praise to thee, o lord of badfic, who sometimes finds me some good fic, who in your generosity, will find me porn to cheer me up.arionhunter: I am appeased!katarik: it's better with the right tune.arionhunter: Oh?katarik: tune for creator of the stars of night.arionhunter: Does this mean I can get you to karaoke my praises as well?katarik: *snickers*arionhunter: Hey, I could be persuaded to use my powers for good more often if there were music involved!katarik: i'm not doing a phone post.arionhunter: ....awwwYou can perform it in my presence, though! (if you feel so compelled)
katarik: *grins*
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(i, too, was baffled that kat knew not the x-files, not even through fannish osmosis.)
if you can find me horrible precure femslash, i think i may just forgive you for the horrible, horrible shiznat you've inflicted on me in the past.
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I assume you have checked FF.net and Shoujoai.com?
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*grins*
I think my favorite bit may be (Oh, Jesus, frames), though.
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And I'm glad I didn't run across any embedded midis. Most of the sites had black backgrounds, colored multi-size text, and animated .gifs. It was an involuntary time machine back to web aesthetics hell.
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Web aesthetics hell covers it nicely. Please tell me no dripping bars like so much buffy fic?
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You know, I probably saw most of those the first time around...
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It'd be like trying to go back to the 80s, but editing out the aquanet, scrunchies, flannel, and fluorescent spandex. It's just not true to that special "Blind Monkey with a Keyboard and a Bottle of Bourbon" school of website design.